


At The Tavern (or: Train wreck of a drunken RP session)

by little_dhampir, Octantis (orphan_account), sidhwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hair Envy, I Blame Tumblr, I edited out all the "Guys I can't stop laughing" etc bits, I love you guys it was so much fun, If there was an archive warning for Cheesy Tropes I'd have used that, It's pretty much all just alluded to, M/M, Making Out, Merlin RP, Merthur Party 2013, Multi, Roleplay Logs, Team Green, This Is STUPID, Totally Not Obvious Misunderstandings, especially towards the end it got more and more ridiculous and we decided on a fade-out, this is embarrassing WHY am I posting it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/pseuds/little_dhampir, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Octantis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidhwen/pseuds/sidhwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The date is December 29 2013; the Merthur Party 2013 is nearing its end. The scene is Team Green’s chat room (now dubbed “The Tavern”). When drunk-writing a fic in the chat together didn’t really work, we decided to drunk-RP (the first ever RPing for some of us).<br/>For some reason, even sober we stuck with our plan to post this <s>under the bonus prompt if it still falls in the time window</s>.<br/>This is the result. (Much quality. Such writing.)<br/>( - really this is more of a documentation for the participants themselves - who else would subject themself to reading this and why??)</p>
            </blockquote>





	At The Tavern (or: Train wreck of a drunken RP session)

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies Team Green that posting this took me so long - while the editing did take a while (see end notes) I was actually done with that before midnight on the 31st; however it took me longer than expected to get the formatting right for AO3 (first time posting here and I had to figure out how to convert a word doc to html code) - and well, being slightly drunk (New Year's!) didn't help write the summary/notes etc either ;)  
> Have fun(??) reading this train wreck and HAPPY 2014 TO YOU ALL! :D

**Participants/roles:**

[brradleyjames](http://brradleyjames.tumblr.com/) as Percy 

[cynthiallanos](http://cynthiallanos.tumblr.com/) as Leon 

[dhampir1508](http://dhampir1508.tumblr.com/) as Gwaine 

[moolallingtons](http://moolallingtons.tumblr.com/) as the flirtatious Tavern wench 

[mygooold](http://mygooold.tumblr.com/) (Bevin) as Arthur 

[sidhwen](http://sidhwen.tumblr.com/) (the editor/poster of this shindig) as Merlin 

  


**[Arthur, Merlin, Leon, Gwaine and Percy have been drinking at the tavern for hours]**

  


**sidhwen_merlin:** *stumbles back into the tavern after taking a leak* 

**bevin_arthur:** about time MERlin 

**sidhwen_merlin:** Arthur sorry did you want to come watch me pee? I always forget to announce it to you just in case you want to *hick* 

**bevin_arthur:** don't be crass MERlin. *mumbles* I’d want to watch you do OTHER things… 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *raises eye brows looking at the two* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** _:_ and they flirt again *looks amused* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : like, change your sheets or more like polish your sword? 

**bevin_arthur** : i'm very interested in watching you with my sheets - but perhaps not changing them 

**mootavernwench** :  <sets down drinks for all the knights, totally not eavesdropping - noooo>

**sidhwen_merlin** _:_ are you now, sire? 

**bevin_arthur** _:_ perhaps 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** _:_ we know what sword you are talking about *winks* 

**sidhwen_merlin** _:_ gwaine! *blushes* 

**cynthiallanos_leon:** * takes drink from wench* Oh, come on merlin 

**bevin_arthur** : we all know how familiar you are with swords, gwaine 

**sidhwen_merlin** : should I get another round I think I should get another round *tries to make himself busy* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *already busy staring after the barmaid* 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : no no, i'll do it! *eyes gwaine concerned* 

**mootavernwench:** <winks at Gwaine>

**sidhwen_merlin** : hey arthur, there's another notch in gwaine's bed post *winks* AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU KNEW MORE ABOUT SWORDS, GWAINE? 

**bevin_arthur** : god help her - ...what do you know about gwaine's bed??? 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *muttering to himself* i'd gladly help her 

**sidhwen_merlin** : umm....  >_>

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : what can I say? Equal opportunity 

**sidhwen_merlin** : i'm just assuuuming he has notches in his bed post. I mean surely. look at him! ummm... 

**bevin_arthur** : what's so special about HIM? [grumbles] it's MY bed you're paid to care about, idiot 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *grumbles quietly* well it's not like I get to take care of your bed like I would like to. 

**bevin_arthur** : *stares at merlin* *contemplates* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : I could tell you what's so special about me *touches own crotch* 

**brradley_percy** : It's not like you spend any time in your bed Arthur, Leon's been telling us about your and Merlin's midnight poetry sessions. 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : I-I- I did what? 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : oh midnight poetry, sounds funny 

**bevin_arthur** : i have a vested interest in ...poetry! 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : don't we all? 

**brradley_percy** : Right. Care to share one you've learnt about then, sire? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : yes arthur *smirks* give us a poem I've taught you! 

**bevin_arthur** : er...there once...was a flower... 

**bevin_arthur** : ............don't sass your king, percy 

**bevin_arthur** : or you, MERlin 

**brradley_percy** : *hides smirk behind cup* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *rolls eyes* yes, SIRe 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *trying to wink barmaid closer* 

**mootavernwench** :  <sidles up to Gwaine> More mead m'lord? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *nudges percy* I know something other than mead he'd like from you... 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : yes my darling and more of you would be lovely too 

**bevin_arthur** : gwaine, some subtlety, please 

**mootavernwench** :  <giggles>

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *strokes her hair* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *looks wistful at the pair* *sighs and whispers* I'll never have that... 

**bevin_arthur** : *looks wistfully at merlin* 

**brradley_percy** : *looks at Merlin* I think he's a bit preoccupied to be wanting anything from /me/ Merlin 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *ignores everybody except barmaid* 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : well.. i'll just uh. i'm getting another round *heads to the bar* 

**mootavernwench** : Why the long faces on all o' ya?  <slings arm around Gwaine's shoulder>

**sidhwen_merlin** : I'll help you leon! *runs after him and leaves their table for a moment* 

  


**dhampir1508_gwaine** : so what's your name, oh you beautiful one? 

**bevin_arthur** : *glares at gwaine* could you not keep it in your pants for one night? 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : they just want what I have 

**bevin_arthur** : or at least stop flirting with other people in front of merlin 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : why that? *confused* 

**bevin_arthur** : @gwaine don't play stupid, i know very well about your relationship 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : mine and Merlin's? We are just friends *turns away from barmaid* 

**mootavernwench** : Well...I think I should go serve some of the other gentlemen for a bit... 

**bevin_arthur** : @gwaine - don't give me that nonsense! i'm not an idiot 

**mootavernwench** :  <moves away, cleans tables>

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : but don't go beauty *half-heartedly* 

  


**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @merlin how does gwaine do it then? i mean really?_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: @leon: it's probably the hair ;)_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @merlin i have great hair!_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: yes you do *smiles*_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: *looks up and sees bar maid coming closer* oh god she's coming over_

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _*grins* talk to her, leon!_

  


**bevin_arthur** : *stares between merlin and gwaine, thinking* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : what are you talking about arthur? 

**bevin_arthur** : your...dalliance, with merlin. 

**dhampir1508_gwaine:** you think merlin fancies me? 

**bevin_arthur** : i think he does more than fancy you! why else would he share your bed? 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : share my bed? *gets more and more confused* 

  


**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: @leon: Come on, don't be shy :) Just ask her something_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @merlin i-i can't!_

**_mootavernwench_** _: What can I get for you boys?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _*stiffens* (hah! in more than one way ;) )_

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _@leon Of course you can! You’ve survived beasts and bandits - surely you can talk to a woman?_

**_mootavernwench_** _: <looks expectantly between Leon and merlin>_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _@barmaid - another round. um, please?_

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : where did percy go? 

**brradley_percy** : *fiddles with arm cuff awkwardly* 

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: *smiles at maid* yes he would like another drink._

**_bevin_arthur_** _: *grumbles* first merlin, then the barmaid, now PERCY?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: * stares at maid and smiles*_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: @maid Maybe you'd be so kind and bring it to that corner table over there for him? he'll be waiting there for you :)_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _*attempts to subtly toss hair*_

**_mootavernwench:_** _Sure thing - (to leon) my you're a big'un aren't ya?_

_**cynthiallanos_leon** : *blushes* i take that as a compliment, m'lady_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: *smirks and leaves the flirtation*_

**brradley_percy** : *also returns to the table* 

  


**dhampir1508_gwaine** : hi perc! 

**bevin_arthur** : *mocks gwaine drunkenly* hi peeerc 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : Where were you? Our king starts fantasizing 

**sidhwen_merlin** : Gwaine? Did Arthur get hit over the head again? 

**brradley_percy** : I didn't want to listen in on your conversation about Merlin. If gwaine's involved, it's probably something crass. 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : Ouch now you hurt me 

**bevin_arthur** : *hiccups* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : as if I could ever be crass *grins* 

  


**_mootavernwench_** _: Oh it was a compliment indeed <smiles><hands tankards to Leon>_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: *takes tankard from maid* @barmaid what's your name, miss?_

**_mootavernwench_** _: It's Miranda <does a curtsy because it's fun>_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: *leon's not drunk, no he's not, no he's not looking at miss miranda's corset top*_

  


**sidhwen_merlin** : or arthur just drank too much. of course. now I'm gonna have to carry him to his bed. 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : he is fantasizing about us 

**bevin_arthur** : shut up, MERlin 

**bevin_arthur** : wait, to bed? with me? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : well if you can't walk straight? 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : what would you say, we give him a show *flirts* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : Gwaine! *blushes* 

**brradley_percy** : @gwaine And you say you're never crass. 

**sidhwen_merlin** : * gives percy a pitying look* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : flirting between friends… that's not crass 

**bevin_arthur** : *freezes* ...friends? 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : don't you think big boy? *starts to flirt with percy* 

**bevin_arthur** : *stares* big...boy? 

**brradley_percy** : Wouldn't know, you've never tried it on me *smirks* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine:** wanna try? *makes dirty hand moves* 

  


**sidhwen_merlin** : *looks at arthur* Of course Gwaine and I are friends! Why wouldn't we be? 

**bevin_arthur** : *with drunken honesty* because you're lovers? 

**_mootavernwench_** _: I hope a fight's not going to break out in my tavern_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: * shakes himself back into order* thank you for the tankards, I should take them over to the table - a peace offering_

**sidhwen_merlin** : ... Arthur...? Why would you think that?! :o 

**brradley_percy** : @Gwaine *holds back a laugh* Think you better sort out the mess with those two first. 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : cause I am so sexy nobody can resist me *turns back to Arthur and Merlin* 

**bevin_arthur** : because--you and--it's gwaine and--wait so you're not? 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : interrupts * SO! What's going on here gents? *looks back and forth between merlin and Arthur* 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *looks at gwaine * *looks at gwaine's hair* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : not what? LOVERS? * flinches under his own loud voice* I think the whole tavern heard that... 

**bevin_arthur** : ...well, are you?? 

**brradley_percy:** *pulls leon into a seat* Best not to interrupt 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : @merlin - don't sound so offended 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : oh- right. *hands percy two tankards* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *decides to turn back to percy and leon* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : well I'm sorry gwaine but it's not true though is it! (not that it hasn't crossed my mind though...) 

**bevin_arthur** : *hopefully* it's not? 

**brradley_percy** : *takes tankards* thanks Leon. 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @percy cheers 

**sidhwen_merlin** : it isn't, arthur, i swear! 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : where is mine? *grabs percy's* 

**bevin_arthur** : then...who....why...what's with all the longing glances then? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : erm... what glances. but - why would it matter so much to you? 

**bevin_arthur** : it...it doesn't! 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *passes another tankard to percy* 

**brradley_percy** : *rolls eyes at gwaine and turns to leon* /Thank you. Again./ 

  


**sidhwen_merlin** : Arthur...? I think you're drunk. You’re not making any sense. 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @knights drink up, this is getting nowhere fast 

**bevin_arthur:** i'm not drunk! i'm...confused! YOU'RE the one not making sense! 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *sighs exasperately* I don't know what you're talking about. 

**dhampir1508_gwaine:** I think I did a good thing there to rile them up *points at merlin and arthur* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *side eyes gwaine* 

**cynthiallanos_leon:** GWAINE for once, just shut up! 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : maybe now they'll fuck and get over it 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *looks shocked at gwaine* I HEARD THAT! 

**bevin_arthur** : *stares at merlin* 

**bevin_arthur** : *stares harder* 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *internally: oh god, i think i'm drunk* 

**bevin_arthur** : fuck it *lurches forward, kisses merlin* 

  


**_mootavernwench:_** _ <gasps>_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @percy Damn, guess I owe you some, Percy_

**sidhwen_merlin** : *stumbles back, shocked* wha- *wraps arm around arthur* 

**_mootavernwench:_** _ <drops tankards everywhere>_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: need some help there lady?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @barmaid - oh, let me help you_

**_mootavernwench:_** _no boys I'm fine <picks everything up hurriedly>_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: *back to flirting*_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @percy, how much did we bet on?_

**bevin_arthur** : *freezes* i...merlin? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : a- arthur? what was that?? 

**bevin_arthur** : it was...a kiss???? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : i know THAT but - 

**bevin_arthur** : maybe??????????? 

**bevin_arthur** : or nothing! it was nothing at all! 

**_brradley_percy:_** _@Leon I can't remember. You're buying my drinks for a while, put it at that_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: *leon turns to percy* why am i always the loser?_

**sidhwen_merlin:** MAKE UP YOUR MIND, ARTHUR. why? why me, why now? 

**bevin_arthur:** i...i don't know. i thought, you and gwaine--but you're NOT and--i couldn't help myself 

**bevin_arthur** : i'm sorry *turns to leave* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : no arthur, wait! 

**bevin_arthur** : *ignores him, keeps walking* 

  


**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: *turns back to leon and percy*_

**_brradley_percy:_** _@Leon you're not a loser, you just place your bets on the wrong side. *smirks*_

**sidhwen_merlin** : @Arthur i didn't mean - it's not like 

**sidhwen_merlin** : it's not like it was unpleasant (at ALL) 

**bevin_arthur** : gee, thanks, MERlin 

**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _hopefully they won't fuck it up_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @percy what- what do you mean?_

**_brradley_percy_** _: @Leon since I met you, how many bets have you won?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @percy i-well..._

**_brradley_percy:_** _@Leon Precisely._

**sidhwen_merlin** : arthur please WAIT 

**bevin_arthur** : *finally stops* what? 

**sidhwen_merlin:** I just- I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN 

**sidhwen_merlin:** \- apart from my dreams... 

**bevin_arthur:** what, me making an idiot of myself? 

**bevin_arthur:** \- wait...your dreams? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *quietly* yes... 

**bevin_arthur** : merlin... 

**sidhwen_merlin:** arthur... *stares intensely into his eyes* 

**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _and why did nobody invite me to the bet?_

**_mootavernwench_** _: So was that what the midnight poetry talk was all about?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: @gwaine - because you spend all your money here_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: to help the poor barmaids make some money *winks at barmaid*_

**sidhwen_merlin:** It's just... I'm just Merlin. Just a sevant. 

**bevin_arthur** : *stares back* i... you've never been just a servant. *kisses merlin again, cheesy like a romance novel* 

**sidhwen_merlin** : ... *wraps arms around arthur* 

**bevin_arthur** : *continues to snog merlin* 

  


**_mootavernwench_** _: can't say tonight has been bad for business anyway_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: and who wants to kiss me?_

**sidhwen_merlin:** *catches his breath* Ar- arthur... 

**bevin_arthur** : merlin? 

**sidhwen_merlin:** maybe -mhpff - It's not that I want you to stop but - maaaybe... not in the MIDDLE of the tavern? 

**bevin_arthur** : *blinks, realizes people are staring* 

**sidhwen_merlin:** ...in front of all your knights? 

**bevin_arthur** : you might have just had your first good idea, merlin 

**sidhwen_merlin** : hmpf *thumps arthur's shoulder and grins* 

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: *shocked that nobody flirts with him*_

**_brradley_percy_** _: @Gwaine You had your pretty barmaid didn't you?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _@gwaine yeah.. the maid likes you *he admits sadly*_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _and where is she now? - Interested in leon instead of me_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _@gwaine w-what?_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _*looks around for the maid*_

**_mootavernwench:_** _What can I say lads, I like a good mop of curly hair <winks>_

**_cynthiallanos_leon:_** _@barmaid - M'lady!_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _come on, it's totally obvious; I just tried to flirt with her to get you out of your shell_

**_mootavernwench:_** _M'lord <extends arm to Leon>_

**_cynthiallanos_leon_** _: *takes her delicate yet strong hand*_

  


**bevin_arthur:** *grins back at merlin* so...where to? 

**sidhwen_merlin:** umm... I did just change your bed sheets...? ;) 

**bevin_arthur** : wouldn't want to let them to go waste, now would we? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : We really wouldn't. 

**bevin_arthur** : *shoves merlin's shoulder* well, come on then 

**sidhwen_merlin:** *grins back at the knights* I think they can cope without us? :) *grabs arthur's hand* Let's go. 

**bevin_arthur:** *follows merlin dazedly, slightly drunkenly* 

  


**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: that leaves us perc… what will we do now?_

**_brradley_percy:_** _@Gwaine You're not getting any ideas are you?_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _but somebody has to take me home tonight *grins*_

**_brradley_percy:_** _*grins* Why, can't you manage to put one foot in front of the other?_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: *shouts after Merlin and Arthur* bye you lover boys_

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *barmaid whispers into leon's ear* @barmaid what was that, miss? 

**mootavernwench** : I said it's closing time...soon 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @barmaid already? 

  


**sidhwen_merlin: [outside of the tavern]** I told you the barmaid would go for Leon and not Gwaine ;) **-** Pay up, your royal highness! *pinches arthur's ass* 

**bevin_arthur** : *groans* MERlin! I thought you wanted to wait until we were in private! 

**sidhwen_merlin:** You know I have a few ideas how you can pay me... 

**bevin_arthur:** Oh? How's that? 

**sidhwen_merlin:** *whispers in Arthur's ear* 

**bevin_arthur:** *shudders* merlin...saucy... 

**sidhwen_merlin** : Oh you don't know the half of the tricks I have up my sleeve... 

**bevin_arthur:** *murmurs interestedly* 

  


**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _now I have to look for another barmaid to “serve” me *grins dirty and flirty*_

**_brradley_percy_** _: @Gwaine *clasps hand on gwaines shoulder* See? Crass. *Laughs*_

**_dhampir1508_gwaine:_** _that's not crass, there simply are a few things a man needs_

**mootavernwench** : @leon <coyly> it's getting late and I can think of better things to be doing at this hour 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @percy @gwaine ah, i guess I'll -uh-see you lads tomorrow? 

**brradley_percy** : @Leon *looks across to the barmaid and back to Leon* Have fun. 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *turns to barmaid and smirks in reply* 

**_brradley_percy_** _: @Gwaine Well I might as well leave you to it. Don't think you need any more competition._

**_dhampir1508_gwaine_** _: @percy: and leave me alone?_

  


**sidhwen_merlin:** Shhh arthur - I really want to christen those bed sheets with you - but let's just wait outside here for a few minutes more? 

**bevin_arthur** : *whines* for what?? 

**sidhwen_merlin:** I'd like to see if my other bet will pay off *smirks* Let's wait to see who Gwaine leaves with. And don't be whiny Arthur - your patience will be rewarded ;) 

**bevin_arthur:** Oh? Who'd you bet on? 

  


**cynthiallanos_leon** : *bar maid whispers into leons ear* really?? you- alright. @percy wait 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @gwaine - ah, i need to talk to percy alone for a sec 

**_mootavernwench_** _: <shouts over at tavern boy> Oi, look after the rest of this lot will ya? _

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @percy - she said she likes your arms... 

**brradley_percy** : @Leon what? 

  


**sidhwen_merlin** : Well who do you think I bet on? 

**bevin_arthur** : *thinks* Not Leon... - Percy? 

**sidhwen_merlin** : *gives arthur a quick kiss* 100 points for the royal prat 

**bevin_arthur** : @merlin don't be cheeky! 

  


**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *drinks alone while waiting for percy to return to his seat* 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @percy .... can't you just take a hint? she wants you to... come along 

**brradley_percy** : *looks up at Leon* You serious?! Not Gwaine? 

**mootavernwench** :  <waves at Percy>

**cynthiallanos_leon:** @percy yes, yes she does. she likes big fellas… she wants us /both/ 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @percy @barmaid *wiggles eye brows and tosses curly hair* 

**mootavernwench** :  <giggles and fawns over the two giant men>

**brradley_percy:** *stands up* @Leon Does she now. Come on then. *casts a look back to Gwaine before following Leon out* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *shocked that percy and barmaid AND leon are going home with each other* *doesn't like it* 

  


**_[outside tavern]_**

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _*pats away grabby hands* arthur! do you see leon over there at the door_

**_bevin_arthur:_** _*looks reluctantly* yes, so?_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: i think - is he taking percy to come along with him AND the maid?!_

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @barmaid ready to go miss? @percy you too? 

**brradley_percy:** @Leon Whenever you are. 

**mootavernwench** : Ready boys, I hope you're ready for me! 

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: but - my bet! :( This is a very surprising turn of events._

**_bevin_arthur:_** _*laughs* not surprisingly, looks like you were wrong_

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *walks off with his muscular knight and bar maid, huzzah!* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : (thought percy liked gwaine and gwaine will eventually realize that) *misses percy now* 

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _Oh dammit -well at least I'm still walking away with the grand prize*strokes arthur's back_

**_bevin_arthur:_** _*jumps in surprise, grins* oh are you? *kisses merlin again*_

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _*kisses back passionately* Oh yes I am_

**_bevin_arthur:_** _well, you know. all good prizes come wrapped. wanna open yours?_

  


**dhampir1508_gwaine:** *goes after percy, leon and the barmaid* hey perc! 

**brradley_percy** : @Gwaine Mm? 

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: shhh arthur let's hide behind that stall - I don't want everyone to see us_

**_bevin_arthur_** _: *follows*_

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _I think there's some... development? What's Gwaine doing?_

**_bevin_arthur:_** _*groans* pay attention to US, merlin! *looks over anyway* is he...joining them???_

**cynthiallanos_leon** : oh, yes gwaine, what is it? 

**mootavernwench** : Ooh another one, care to join us too m'lord? 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : ahm *doesn't know what to say* 

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _*Smirks at arthur* I'm so torn - unwrap my prize or see if I win my bet_

**_bevin_arthur_** _: *groans* merlin, you tease_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: I got it - you tell me what you see them doing and I... *drops to his knees*_

**_bevin_arthur_** _: *gargles unintelligibly*_

  


**cynthiallanos_leon** : *leon stares intensely at gwaine’s hair* 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : *internally thinking: hm maybe he'll let me pull at that* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine:** *looks at percy* why not 

**mootavernwench** :  <stares at Gwaine's hair, then Leon's hair, then Perc's arms>

**cynthiallanos_leon:** Where shall we continue our... party? 

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: *comes up for air* arthurrrr.... what's happening (other than in your pants)_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: (cos I can tell that quite clearly from here)_

**_bevin_arthur:_** _*pants* urgh...they're...doing things?_

**_sidhwen_merlin:_** _WHAT THINGS - tell me or I don't continue doing /this/ *grins up at arthur*_

  


**dhampir1508_gwaine:** so lads and lady, where are we going now? *feels better at percy's side* 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *starts doing it right in front of the tavern* 

**_bevin_arthur_** _: they're...talking? and touching each other! very sensually!_

**_sidhwen_merlin_** _: hmm.... sounds good.... *strokes arthur's sides*_

**_bevin_arthur:_** _the um...the barmaid is talking to leon?_

**mootavernwench** : Ooh fellas we should move this somewhere more...comfortable 

**cynthiallanos_leon** : @barmaid whatever you want 

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : good idea 

**mootavernwench:** <makes all the lads hold hands as we skip back to the knight's chambers>

**dhampir1508_gwaine** : *holds percy’s hand* 

**cynthiallanos_leon:** *leon grabs maid around the waist* 

**bevin_arthur:** *leads merlin back to chambers by ears, shares fabulous orgasms all night* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FADE OUT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

**Author's Note:**

> (aaaand we collectively decided on a fade-out there; by then we could hardly type anymore for laughing so hard - I have no idea how it turned into a collective orgy either THESE THINGS HAPPEN ON THEIR OWN AT THE TAVERN.)
> 
> If you read this whole thing until the very end: wow. Congratulations? Many thanks? I'm actually not sure why anyone but the participants would read this silliness - it got so ridiculous for ourselves towards the end that I had to edit out a lot of OOC lines like "(I'M GONNA CRY FROM LAUGHING)" ;)  
> Sticking with the style of a chat, I left the spelling "as is" when words actually had to be capitalized, but I did correct other typos for readability (and to hide how drunk we were).  
> (What was most time-consuming was the monkey work of deleting post time stamps and putting the names in bold.)  
> I tried to make this thing as readable as possible: adding breaks _(oh man it took me a while to re-add those; the html code is slightly different on AO3 for that!)_ , differentiating "separate chats in/outside the tavern" with italics, plus I also changed the order of the lines if they actually belonged to earlier dialogue (it's in the nature of a chat with 3+ people that when they type simultaneously, the threads get jumbled).  
> However aside from being the editor, I'm only one of six authors here - credit for their lines goes to all the participants (when they have an AO3 account I (will) also add(ed) them as co-authors).


End file.
